Humor
Multi-Tasking
“BUSY LIFESTYLE FORCES US TO MULTI-TASK.” It’s called multi-tasking, the increasingly popular and seemingly essential habit of doing more than one thing at a time. All of us have done it, at one time or another. The ultimate multi-tasker, of course, is Bill Clinton, who has shown us that he can simultaneously, and with great […]
Computer Error
The gigantic computer took up a whole wall, dwarfing the two mathematicians standing before it. After much flashing and humming a sliver of paper emerged from the vitals of the machine. One mathematician, after studying it gravely, turned to the other and said with awe, “Do you realise that it would take four hundred ordinary […]
Tips For Rednecks
TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you’re certain that […]
Murphy’s Law Of Combat
You are not a superman. If it’s stupid but works, it’s not stupid. Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire. When in doubt, empty your magazine. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are. Remember: Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. If your attack is going really well, it’s an ambush. No […]
The Seven Dwarfs
The Seven Dwarfs go to visit the Pope. As he is finishing his speech on comparative religions, Dopey raises his hand to ask a question. “Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?”. “No Dopey,” responds the Pontiff, “there are not”. “Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?” Dopey questions. “No […]
Paying Taxes
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, “Mr. Carr, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we […]
Memory Loss
=========== A couple decided to take their teenage daughter to a shopping mall in a nearby town one weekend. As they were getting ready to go, the girl came downstairs dressed in short shorts and a spaghetti string top. An anticipated fight broke out between her and the husband over her inappropriate attire. In order […]
I’d Love To Be Ten Again
======================== A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?” She said, “I’d love to be ten again.” On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, […]
Sunday School Lesson
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge […]
What Does Daddy Do?
The kindergarten was having a “What Does Daddy Do Day”, and little Johny was eager to have his say… “My daddy says he plays the piano in a house of ill repute – (but I don’t know what that means)”, he said proudly. The teacher was very embarrassed, and quickly moved on to a new […]
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