Humor
Chain Vicars
If you are unhappy with your vicar, simply have your church-warden send a copy of this letter to six other churches who are also tired of their vicar. Then bundle up your vicar and send him to the church on the top of the list in the letter. Within a week you will receive 16,435 […]
Dog In Heaven
Little Johnny’s dog was hit by a car, and unfortunately, died. Mom and dad tried their best to console their young son. “You know, Johnny, it’s not your fault the dog died, it was just fate.” But Little Johnny would have none of it. So, in a last gasp attempt, Little Johnny’s dad said, “He’s […]
My Mate Colin
My Mate Colin… Colin was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove […]
Reflections
Life’s Reflections 1. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape. 3. I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. 4. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you […]
Snail Mail Vs Email
Reasons Why Snail Mail Is Better Than E-Mail 1) SNAIL MAIL can be SHREDDED quickly. 2) The sender is forced to spend MONEY on the sending process. 3) Postal glue tastes pretty good. 4) SNAIL MAIL always calls me “Mr.” 5) I only need to check my mailbox once a day. 6) Peeling OFF a […]
‘You’re Fired!’
Some of the most tactful people on Earth are the English. One office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired. He started the conversation with: “Miss Symthe, I really don’t know how we’re going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we’re going to try.”
Just Like Bill
. “Perfect timing,” the cabby said. “You’re just like Bill.” “Who?” “Bill Smith. There’s a guy who did everything right,” the cabby said. “Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Bill every time.” “Nah,” the man said to the cabby. “There are always a few clouds […]
Tact
A Regimental Sergeant Major (RSM, a fearsome army character with a Stentorian voice) is drilling some recruits on the parade ground when he gets a message that the mother of one of them has died. (RSM) “SMITH, YOUR MOTHER’S DEAD!” Smith drops down in a dead faint. The RSM’s superior officer takes him on one […]
‘Vat A Country’!
Many years ago, my father was visiting America from Europe, for the very first time. He said he wanted to go with me to the supermarket, so I invited him along. As he went up & down the aisles with me, at the local Giant Food Store, he constantly asked me questions about products he […]
Murphy’s Law
“To make mistakes is human; to stumble is common- place; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity. — William Arthur Ward Murphey’s Law??? Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken […]
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