Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was: “Don’t.” “Don’t what?” Adam replied. “Don’t eat the forbidden fruit,” God said. “Forbidden fruit? […]
The mind of a six year old is wonderful. First Grade….. a true story. One day, the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She […]
This is so funny! Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? I hope you remember my story when they start getting frustrated. My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in […]
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks […]
THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH 1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew. 2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes overtime. 3. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. 4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to […]
Children and the Church My mom and dad were caring for our 4-year old daughter one weekend, and took her to a barbeque at some friends home. While there, the family dog wandered around the dinner table, begging scraps. This irritated my father who believed that all dogs belonged outside, so he thought he would […]
A Chinese couple named Wong had a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy! “Congratulations,” says the nurse to the new parents. “What will you name the baby?” The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, “Well, two Wong’s don’t make a white, […]
One little girl began her prayer like this: “Our Father, who are in heaven, hello! What be Thy name?” A boy who thought he knew the answer to that question, prayed, “Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be Thy name.” The prayer of another boy went like this: “Our Father who art in heaven, […]
“This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I’d like to welcome you aboard So-So Airline flight 602 from New York to Punta Cana. We are currently flying at a eight of 35,000 feet going South the Atlantic. “If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you […]
SPECIAL REPORT According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so), male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain […]