Humor
Questions and Answers
Most parliaments in the Westminster tradition have a “Question Time”, in which questions are asked, by each side of the House, of the relevant Minister. Note: This is not necessarily “Answer Time”, and while the old adage of – “Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies” – may not apply, dodging the […]
Aussie Trucker
An Aussie trucker walks into an outback cafe’ with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.? The trucker says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke,’ and turns to the emu, ‘What’s yours?’ ‘I’ll have the same,’ says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That […]
Dying Priest
In London an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. “Yes, Father?” said the nurse. “I would really like to see Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling MP before I die”, whispered the priest. “I’ll see […]
Blonde Goes Fishing
A BLONDE wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed: “There are no fish under the […]
Shooting
Reports are coming in that a black man has been shot with a starting pistol. Police say the shooting was race related. (… and the main suspect just gave blank looks).
Swine Flu
I called the Swine Flu hotline – all I got was crackling I heard that the first symptom is that you come out in rashers. Another is that you get the trotts. I woke up with pig tails this morning … Should I be worried? The doctor asked me how long I’d had the symptoms […]
Senior Citizens and AIDs
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS! HEARING AIDS BAND AIDS ROLL AIDS WALKING AIDS MEDICAL AIDS GOVERNMENT AIDS MOST OF ALL, MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS! Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)
The Duck
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, ‘Hang on! You’re a duck.’ ‘I see your eyes are working,’ replies the duck. ‘And you can talk!’ exclaims the barman. ‘I see your ears are working, too,’ says the duck. ‘Now […]
Show and Tell
Was show and tell ever like this in our day? The ‘Middle Wife’ by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When […]
Sacred cow
I worked in a hospital with a German years ago and he was very witty. This day he was eating beef and an Indian doctor opposite him was eating something else. “You should eat the beef. It’s very good” sez he. “Can’t”, said the Indian, “I’m a Hindu. We don’t eat beef.” “Didn’t know that. […]
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