Humor
Floods
One night a torrential downpour soaked South Louisiana. The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she […]
Funniest Commercial Ever?
http://msvids.blogspot.com/2009/06/funniest-commercial.html
Some nonsense to add profundity to your day…
I passed the cemetery yesterday, on my way to work, and I noticed 4 pall-bearers walking around with a coffin. I passed by again, some hours later, and they were still walking Around with it. I thought to myself : [] *** *** *** [] *** *** *** [] ‘These blokes have lost the plot’
Mysticism Made Simple
An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times. The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose […]
Secret Lover
Bill was sitting happily in his favourite chair when his wife hit him with the frying pan. “what’s that for?” screamed Bill, clutching his head. ” I’ve just taken your jacket to the cleaners, said his beloved; I went through the pockets and my worst fears were confirmed: a secret lover” ” A what?” roared […]
Sunday School at Christmas-time
A Sunday school class at Christmas had just sung Silent Night, and had drawn their versions of what Jesus’ birth must have looked like. Their teacher collected their work and was very impressed with it. One shone out from the others, but she could not work out who the big fat man was standing beside […]
English Respectability
Poms (Australian slang for the English) here might like this (from a BBC cricket commentator): “A charming sight on the England balcony. Alastair Cook, deep in conversation with Paul Collingwood, sticks a long finger up his nose, has a little rummage and pulls out a prime specimen. He stares at it for a while, rolls […]
Who made bullocks?
A priest in southern New South Wales was visiting parishioners. He stopped to talk to a small boy grazing bullocks beside a road. “Tell me,” he said, “Who made these bullocks?” “Dad,” said the small drover. The priest smiled at him. “Oh no,” he said, kindly. “I am sure you know God made them.” The […]
Work Experience (more…)
I tried to be a baker because I kneaded the dough, but then I became a stand up comic. I was a loaf a minute! I wasn’t interested in tailoring; it just seamed immaterial My mate and I heard that the forestry ‘branch’ of the DSE was looking for tree fellers; but when we applied […]
The Speeding Juggler
A young man was pulled over by the Mississippi State Police for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man’s window. “What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a fahhr? Let me see your license, boy.” The young man handed over […]
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