Humor
Did You Hear?
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
The Number Of The Beast
OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast. But did you know: * $665.95………………….Retail price of the Beast * $699.25…………….Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax * $769.95.Price of the Beast with all accessories & replacement soul * $656.66………………….Walmart price of the Beast * $646.66……………Next week’s Walmart price of the […]
Three Little Pigs
Little Jimmy’s father always used to tell him bedtime stories. Being the quick-witted fellow that he was, he always embelished on them adding little jokes here and there. One day in Little Jimmy’s kindergarten class, his teacher was telling them the strory of the three little pigs. Jimmy knew this story because his father always […]
No Room At The Inn
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. "You’ve got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don’t care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad […]
Is That You Fred?
We recently moved to a new city and went to our first football game. We arrived early and found our seats. Not long afterwards, a neurotic young fellow came in and sat just in front of us. A short time later, we heard from far behind us someone yell "Hey Fred!" The nervous young man […]
Love Is In The Air
Never judge someone by who he’s in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals. – Cynthia Heimel Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding […]
A Bunch Of Puns
Not too long ago a scientist tried to clone himself. However, his clone was very obnoxious and lewd, while the scientist was well received and respected. Finally fed up with his experiment gone wrong, he threw his clone off the roof of the laboratory; killing the clone. He was arrested by the local police for… […]
British News Bits
___ From the Churchdown Parish Magazine: ___ ‘Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labeled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only.’ ___ From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand: ___ ‘Will the person who took a slice of […]
Two Boll Weevils
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. ——————— A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He […]
Kids N Religion
When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept of marriage. But anyway, I got out our wedding album, thinking visual images would help, and explained the entire service to her. Once finished, I asked if she had any questions, and she replied, "Oh. I see. Is […]
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