Humor
35 Fun Things To Do When Driving
1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang. 3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling. 4. Two words: Chicken suit. 5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, […]
Kid’s On Marriage
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Alan, age 10 "No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going tomarry. God […]
Men
Women have many faults. Men have only 2: everything they say and everything they do. Husband: "This coffee isn’t fit for a pig!" Wife: "No problem. I’ll get you some that is." You really have to feel sorry for men. They were given a brain and reproductive machinery but only enough blood to run one […]
No Excuse Sunday
DEDICATED TO MISSING CHURCH ATTENDEES! To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday": Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in." There will be a special section with lounge chairs for […]
The Top Ten Signs Your Co-Worker Is A Computer Hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000. 9. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running. 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. 6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at […]
The Pope And The Rabbi
Every year, just before Easter, the Chief Rabbi in Rome goes to the Vatican and presents an ancient, and by now quite tattered, envelope to the Pope. The Pope inspects the envelope, shakes his head, and hands it back to the Chief Rabbi, who then departs. This has been going on for nearly two thousand […]
The End Of The World
When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE’RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE Victoria’s Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE Sports Illustrated: GAME […]
Wise Advice Form Kids
1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee […]
Funeral Plans
His four children were gathered around Mr. Staley’s deathbed. As the eighty-year-old man seemed to doze off in a blissful sleep, the children started to discuss the final funeral plans. One wanted to spend a hundred dollars for a coffin, a second thought a plain wooden box would do, and the third was even ready […]
Monkey
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at […]
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