Humor
Children’s Words
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. […]
Why God Created Animals
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?” Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here & it is difficult for me to remember how much you […]
Vocabulary Builders
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, […]
Pig With The Woorden Leg
What do you call a cow with no legs? -ground beef. Special Pig Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend’s door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, “Fred, how’d that pig get him a wooden leg?” “Well Michael, that’s a mighty special pig! […]
No Thank You
A well-dressed gentleman entered an upscale restaurant in the East End of Manhattan, and took a seat at the bar. The bartender came over and asked “What can I get you to drink, sir”? The gentleman responded, “Nothing, thank you. I tried alcohol once, didn’t like it, and never tried it again”. The bartender was […]
Great Truths
1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. 2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair. 3. If your brother hits you, don’t hit him back. They always catch the second person. 4. Never ask a 3 year old to hold a tomato. 5. You […]
What Mums Really Want On Mothers’ Day
Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother’s Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any “floaties” (ie, backwash) 9. To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that “Why is this person my mother?” way. 8. […]
Nursing Situation
Women Talk to Much Sam was trying to show his wife that women talk much more than men. To prove his point he showed her a scholarly study that showed men, on average, use about l500 words per day as opposed to women, who use at least 3,000. Gussie, his wife, pondered this for a […]
Spiritual Golf
Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulls up to the tee and drives a long one. The ball lands on the fairway, but rolls directly toward the water hazard. Quickly, Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls to the other side, safe and sound. Next, […]
Papal Visit
During his visit to the United States the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media. The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and […]
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