Humor
Do Something Nice For Dad
Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, “Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill.” Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring […]
Office Vocabulary
Newest terms to add to your vocabulary in the late 90s office environment: Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. Chainsaw consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands. CLM: Career Limiting Move […]
Cookies
An elderly man was at home, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs, and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies. With waning […]
Bill Gates Dies And…
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet […]
Spiritual Golf
Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulls up to the tee and drives a long one. The ball lands on the fairway, but rolls directly toward the water hazard. Quickly, Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls to the other side, safe and sound. Next, […]
Two Cannibals Met One Day
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender Missionary. I’ve baked them, I’ve roasted them, I’ve stewed them, I’ve barbecued them, I’ve tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender.” The second cannibal asks, “What kind of Missionary do […]
Papal Visit
During his visit to the United States the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media. The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and […]
Naval Operations
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operation 10-10-95 Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course […]
Do Something Nice For Dad
Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, “Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill.” Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring […]
Top 15 Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife
1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. – (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) 2. Find a prostitute and marry her. – (Hosea 1:1-3) 3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock – Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) […]
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