Humor
Military Joke
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General […]
Feline Science
1 – Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. 2 – Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really […]
Subject: Airlines Humour
From: "Himler, Stacey L." <> Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position." "There […]
Losers…
* In Guthrie, Okla., in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his .22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull. * In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cobwebs in […]
Want To Go To Heaven?
July 29 Wednesday Pulled In Two Directions Read: Philippians 1:19-26 To me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain….I am hard pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ. -Philippians 1:21,23 As Christians, we are pulled in two directions. We all want to go to heaven, but this […]
Tongue-Twister
Through three cheeze trees, three free fleas flew. Through the cheezie trees a breezie breeze blew. The breezie breeze made the three cheeze trees freeze, The freezie cheeze made the three free fleas sneeze. The sneezie fleas flew through the breeze Where the three cheeze trees breezie breeze blew
Little Johnny Joke
From: Barry Whitney <> One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with "This was England’s finest hour." Little […]
Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out
Two men were down on their luck and decided to paint houses to earn some extra money. To start their business they asked the pastor of a local church if he would be interested in their service. He agreed and the men went out to buy the paint. As they drove to the paint store […]
Heat Joke
~ you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible ~ you’ve been getting hot flashes, and you’re a man!!! ~ the swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra tasty crispy" ~ the strawberries are ripe and the cab drivers are riper […]
Seniors: What Are They Worth?
Remember old folks are worth a fortune with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet and gas in their stomachs. I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life. Frankly, I have become a frivolous […]
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