Humor
The Code Word
There’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would […]
Stuff You Always Wanted To Know
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards. The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into […]
Two Little Boys
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to […]
Star Trek Joke
"Things are only impossible until they aren’t" – Captain Jean Luc Picard, "Star Trek: The Next Generation" ~~~ But is it an upgrade? ~~~ In our last episode, the crew encountered Admiral Gates’ ship, MONOPOLY, and may have picked up a bug – in the form of MS Windows taking over various computer systems on […]
Star Trek Obsession
"I’m from Iowa, I only work in space." – Captian Kirk (William Shatner) in "Star Trek IV: The Voyage" Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is Obsessed With "Star Trek" 10. His car has more Trekkie bumper stickers than paint. 9. Keeps trying to "mind-meld" with your parakeet. 8. Refuses to lend you his hedge trimmer […]
Correct Answers
BIBLICAL AND THEOLOGICAL COUNSELING FEES ANSWERS: $100 ANSWERS WHICH REQUIRE THOUGHT: $200 CORRECT ANSWERS: $400 DUMB LOOKS ARE STILL FREE!
Star Trek Joke
Star Trek Lost Episodes transcript. Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?" Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology." Geordi […]
Time Honoured Truths!!
1. Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people. 4. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it. 5. Never underestimate the power of stupid people […]
Catholic Joke
A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd —- no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. […]
Prejudice Joke
On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African Lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating. "What seems to be the problem Madam?" asked the attendant. "Can’t you see?" she said " You’ve sat me next […]
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