Humor
Parrot Joke
There was this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he’s a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird’s foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to […]
Dead Donkey
A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard. He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it. So, he called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies, but no one seemed able to help him. In desperation, […]
Scientific Discoveries
The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archaeological finds. This guy really exists and does this in […]
Top Ten Reasons
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH 1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay. 2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time. 3. You get to eat insect food like snails and Frog legs. 4. If theres a war, you can surrender really early and hope […]
Death By Stupidity
How many of us are engineers ? In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens — he declares that he’s been saved by divine intervention– so he’s let go . The lawyer […]
Out Of The Mouths Of Babes
Little Johnny’s kindergarden class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives […]
Titanic Joke
The Titanic, on her maiden voyage, just set sail from the shores of England. It was the most magnificent ship ever built, and everybody is very excited. No expense has been spared – the vast dining rooms, casinos, hundreds of neatly groomed waiters and polite service staff, string quartets, the works. Every night at the […]
Kids’ Wisdom
It’s more fun to color outside the lines. If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch. Ask why until you understand. Hang on tight. Make up the rules as you go along. It doesn’t matter who started it. Ask for sprinkles. Save a place in line for your friends. If the […]
Three Guys Get To Heaven…
From: Barry Whitney <> From: Kareena Menezes <> ================================================== 3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, […]
Kung Fu Movie Subtitles
“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” – Mark Twain ~~~ Kung-Fu Theater Makes Laughter Feeling in Me! ~~~ The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong: * I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. […]
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