Humor
Questions
Bored during a long flight, an eminent scholar leaned over and woke up the man sleeping next to him to ask if he would like to play a game. “I’ll ask you a question,” he explained. “If you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5. But if I don’t know the answer to your […]
Health Advice :-)
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? ! A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…. don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of […]
Speeding Ticket
Did you hear about the 83 year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going? Makes perfectly good sense to me…..
Party’n Leroy
A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters […]
Cute kids
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, ‘What are you in here for?’ The second kid says, ‘I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.’ The first kid says, ‘You’ve got nothing […]
Oh, To Be Ten Again!
A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?” She said, “I’d love to be ten again.” On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park –the Death Slide, The […]
Enjoy Old Age
When you wake up in the morning, push your elbows out away from your body. If you don’t strike wood, you haven’t been buried yet. When you wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, you will know you are dead. When you wake up in the morning and can get out of bed by […]
Good News Bad News
Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news. Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: The good news is that the tests you took showed that you have 24 hours to live. Patient: That’s the good news? What’s the bad news? Doctor: The bad news is that I forgot to call you […]
Good News Bad News
A man comes home from work and was greeted by his wife. ‘I’ve got good news and bad news,’ she said. He swallowed hard and said he’d like the good news first. ‘The car’s air bag works,’ she said ***** Two men were relaxing after work and discussing a workmate’s marital problems. ‘The good news,’ […]
Sharing
The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his […]
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