Humor
Police warning
Police are warning members of the public to be alert for crooked doorstep salesmen. The salesman will approach a house where the owners are known to have a daughter and will then offer to have a likeness of the daughter carved on to a door. Inspector Bubblegum said ‘These men are to be discouraged at […]
Mischievous Boys
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he […]
Important News Summaries
(From an Australian newsgroup): MOOMBA – modern Melbourne equivalent of Nero fiddling while Rome burns. Once called Labor Day. FTA (Free Trade Agreement) – an agreement freely entered into by some, under the illusion that it is not unilateral. AFGHANISTAN – a colonial war based on the assumption that, where the Russians failed, we will […]
Investment Banking Idea
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry Chuck, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.'” Chuck replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.” The […]
Very Important Facts (?) (to add to your store of worthless information :-)
This is very interesting! After reading it, you’ll go ‘duh, I didn’t know that.’ ‘Stewardesses’ is the longest word typed with only the left hand And ‘lollipop’ is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Of course, that’s assuming that you really know how to type and don’t hunt and peck!) No word in […]
Some of these are not facts :-)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. Hirple ( to walk with a limping gait ) and curple ( part of a horse’s tack that goes under the tail ) ***** There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘dous’: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous […]
News from the Business World
with apologies to any investment bankers, stock brokers, or wheelers and dealers in our midst 🙂 1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing. Its called the stock market. 2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal-Mart Street. […]
Palindromes
The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’, and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). Yes, there are many more … mom, wow, Anna … Madam, I’m Adam. Able was I, ere I saw Elba. (attributed to Napoleon by somebody who didn’t realize he spoke French) A man, a […]
Forgiving One’s Enemies
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, ‘How many of you have forgiven your enemies?’ 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. ‘Miss Joyce”; ‘Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?’ I don’t have any.’ She replied, smiling sweetly. […]
Why Worry?
You’re either sick or you’re well. If you’re well, there’s no problem. If you’re sick – you can either get better or worse. If you get better, there’s no problem. If you get worse, you will either live or die. If you live, there’s no problem. If you die, then you’ll either go to heaven […]
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