Humor
Quiz: test yourself against these experts :-)
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’? Contestant: Homosexuals. Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you. BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point. Theakston: There’s a clue in […]
F B I authority
A FBI officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs. The old rancher says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The FBI officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the […]
Know Your Customers
Know Your Customers: A disappointed salesman of a famous Cola Co. returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?” The salesman explained “When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually […]
The End of the World
Today’s quote: “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” -Charles Schulz.
Not Another Blonde Joke!
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away…Florida or the moon?’ The other blonde turns and says ‘Helloooooooooo, can you seeFlorida?????’ CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. […]
Criminal Parrot
Yers! This utter swine of a criminal parrot actually had the gall, blimey!, to refuse the police entry to its cage because they didn’t have a perch warrant!!!
Dogs and cats
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it […]
The Children’s Bible in a Nutshell
Through the eyes of a child: In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God […]
Political and Economic Systems
SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 […]
Smart Retiree
A retired man moves near a junior high school. He spends the first few weeks of retirement in peace and quiet. However, when a new school year begins, three young boys beat on every trash can they encounter every day on their way home from school. Finally, the man decides to take action and walks […]
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