Humor
Wife, Finding
Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours.(Deuteronomy 21:11-13) Find a prostitute and marry her. Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) Purchase a piece of property, and […]
The Pope And The Haircut
A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks “What’s up?” The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?!” Joe says, “Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to go to […]
When Does Life Begin?
*They had to prod the Jewish Rabbi for his answer, and he finally leaned forward to his mike and spoke softly “All of my friends here are wrong. Life begins when the last child leaves home, and the dog they left behind dies!!!”. “We of the Jewish religion firmly believe that the fetus is not […]
Beer Stories
HOW WE DECEIVE OURSELVES EH? A man had been drinking for several hours in his neighborhood bar when the bartender started to close up. The drunken man got off his stool and fell to the floor. He pulled himself up on the stool, took one step toward the door and fell again. “Oh, hell. I’ll […]
Yesterday
For the following to make sense, you need to know the following tidbit: Dr Mahathir is the Prime Minister of Malaysia, who is now facing the crisis of the Ringgit currency and the haze problem caused by Indonesia. Mahathir’s Blues… Here’s a very cool song which I’m sure Mahathir is singing in privacy: (Sung to […]
Humour
[MARCH 1997] The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan’s Island theory is quite simple. Each of the seven characters on the island represents each of the seven deadly sins. Now, this theory seems to fit upon initial inspection, there are technical difficulties when you get down to THE MAN himself, Gilligan. Run with me on this […]
Aspiring Psychiatrists
The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor, “Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?” “Sadness,” said the student. “And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?” “Elation.” “And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?” “I believe that would be giddyup,” Squiffy […]
How Come?
How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? You know how most packages say “Open here”.What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”? Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers? Why are […]
Scent Of A Woman!
At work today, we were so hard up for something to do, so this is what happened: This Arabic woman at work wears a gallon of perfume, and really heavy floral perfume, at that. People are always making remarks about it. She walked into my boss’ office today, and within seconds, the scent was everywhere. […]
Punishment!
Three guys found themselves in Hell: Smitty, Mark, and Brian. A little confused at their present situation, they were startled to see a door in the wall (which they hadn’t noticed before) open, and behind the door was perhaps the Ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3’4″, dirty, and you could smell her […]
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