Humor
Church Bulletin Humor
15 ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS TAKEN FROM CHURCH BULLETINS 1. Don’t let worry kill you–let the church help. 2. Thursday night–Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 4. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery […]
Insurance Joke
A North Carolina man, having bought several expensive cigars, insured them against… get this… fire. After he had smoked them, he then decided that he had a claim against the insurance company and filed. The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigar normally. The man sued. […]
Dr Seuss
What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing? Here’s an easy game to play. Here’s an easy thing to say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket […]
Laugh-A-Lot
~~~ Da Building is On Fire! ~~~ During an ecumenical gathering, someone rushed in and shouted, “The building is on fire!” Immediately, The METHODISTS gathered in the corner and prayed, The BAPTISTS cried, “Where is the water?”, The QUAKERS quietly praised God for the blessing that fire brings, The LUTHERANS posted a notice on the […]
Politically Correct
EDUCATIONAL VERSIONS OF POLITICALLY CORRECT No one fails a class anymore, he’s merely “passing impaired.” You don’t have detention, you’re just one of the “exit delayed.” Your bedroom isn’t cluttered, it’s just “passage restrictive.” These days, a student isn’t lazy. He’s “energetically declined.” Your locker isn’t overflowing with junk, it’s just “closure prohibitive.” Kids don’t […]
Humor Ordering Pzzas
Well if any of you have ever ordered a pizza and dealt with some of the nitwits taking it……. Of course these nitwits do NOT include friends who may happen to be in the pizza biz. 100 ZANY WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. […]
Fire, Deserts And Genies
Fire! A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call […]
Men & Women Communicating!
The truth about communication between men and women….. an example Let’s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue […]
Geeks Need Women!
CERTIFIABLY INANE September 21, 1997 (c) Patrick C. Ross Speaking of “Ben Hur,” anyone who is online knows that our world’s great convenience, e-mail, is being choked to death by a force-feeding of solicitations, such as MAKE $$$ FAST!!! or LIVE FOREVER!!! Those seem credible enough, but I’m sure BEAT THE IRS!!! is a scam. […]
Cat Heaven
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat “you lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know”. The cat thinks for a moment and […]
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