// archives

Humor

This category contains 5241 posts

Disclaimer

‘Let no one who is not eager for truth and peace enter here’ (Plato)

Articles on this site express varying points of view, to encourage mature thinking on serious issues. The assumption is that you will want to study a controversial topic from various angles before you arrive at a conclusion, rather than simply believe what someone told you when you were impressionable! (So some stuff here is ‘hot’. Proceed at your own risk!). See the Statement of Faith for John Mark Ministries' theological stance.

True Story

Many years ago I bought a new three piece suit. Thinking I might be able to do someone a favour, I put the old one outside with a sign on “Free to anyone who can take it away”. Not long after a ring comes on my door, there stands a little man, “About your 3 […]

Divorce (true!)

Although the couple had agreed to a divorce, Alfie objected to Millie’s demand for alimony. “She never wanted to go out to work, so she never earned a penny of what I own.” he complained, “She was disgusting to live with. She claims to have stayed home to be a housewife, but she never picked […]

Need a friend?

At least he pretends to listen! http://www.googlyfoogly.com/pictures/Finally-Found-A-Friend.html — Shalom/Salaam/Pax! Rowland Croucher http://jmm.org.au/ Justice for Dawn Rowan – http://dawnrowansaga.blogspot.com/

Pick Me Up

This bloke is 70 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting on the river bank the other day when he heard a voice say, ‘Pick me up.’ He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, ‘Pick me up.’ He looked in […]

They Walk Among Us (again)

‘Millionaire’ Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever NEW YORK – Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.’ It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of […]

Doh!

~ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. ~ A Christmas sign outside a church: “The original Christmas Club.” ~ A dog who gave birth to puppies on the roadside was cited for littering. ~ A farmer is a man who is outstanding in his field. ~ A friend is a person who […]

Bad umpiring/refereeing

AFL: John Kennedy was asked about the standard of umpiring after Hawthorn had done it tough. “Normally I have no comment, but today I have no comment whatsoever!” And Rugby League legend Roy Masters’ reply to the same question: “I’ve always had a policy of never criticising bad umpiring!”

Humorous Atheist Quotations

——————————————————————————– To become a religion it is only necessary for a superstition to enslave a philosophy. ——————————————————————————– Religions are what dreams are made of. ——————————————————————————– Like all religions, the Holy Religion of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both Logic and Faith. We have Faith that She is Pink; and we Logically know that […]

Mechanic’s exam

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time […]

Prince Charles

I picked up an old magazine today and read about Prince Charles’ “allowance” and how he felt it was insufficient. I was reminded of an old joke, updated: While watching a polo match, His Highness heard the call of nature and stood up to go to the lavatory. Since there was one directly behind the […]