Humor
Inland Revenue
A man owned a small farm in Scotland. The Inland Revenue claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him. ‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,’ demanded the rep. ‘Well,’ replied the farmer, ‘there’s my farm hand who’s been […]
Riddle
How do you prove a sheet of paper is a lazy dog in three steps? 1. A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane 2. An inclined plane is a slope up 3. A slow pup is a lazy dog
Mexicanos
A joke told by Bill Cosby, a black American comedian: Two black idlers are standing on a corner when a small car crammed with 12 men drives by. “Hey,” one says, “Did you see that? Twelve Mexicanos in a teeny car. They ain’t like us, are they?” The other man shrugs. “They sure ain’t. They’re […]
Murphy’s lesser known rules
*1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. More Murphy’s laws – http://jmm.org.au/catalog/keyword/m-15.htm There’s a book with hundreds of these… anyone know its name? Several years ago I heard a radio review of a book called “The Official Rules” which included things like Parkinson’s Law […]
Marriage
Have you ever said something stupid? Like – “Will you marry me?” (Most males.) And the next three stages: Engagement ring – wedding ring – suffering! Plus: Ring around the collar – rubber ring – interring.
Family Planning
A blonde bloke and his blonde wife went to a family planning clinic. “We’ve been married for ten years and we’ve got no kids,” said the husband. ‘And the next-door neighbours say it’s because we’re stupid.’ “Nonsense,” smiled the doctor. “It’s probably to do with your diet. Or it might be a question of timing. […]
9 Words Women Use Frequently
1. Fine:- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2. Five Minutes:- If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the match […]
A Person I would like to meet
One day I would like to meet Seymour. I haven’t been able to locate him but I have tried. He was 6″ 3″ tall, had a full head of hair, took his date to very expensive restaurants and held her chair when she sat down. He was extremely successful in business. He jumped out of […]
Fishy
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a fish under his arm. “Do you have any fishcakes?” he asks. “Yes, of course,” says the fish shop owner. “Great,” replies the man, nodding at the fish under his arm, “It’s his birthday.”
Martyrdom
From a Usenet humour group: Seems those grinning apes, the Bali bombers, are to be executed (by firing squad) in early November. Good riddance! most would say. However, they seem to relish their martyrdom, in belief they will be revenged by fellow zealots – more bombings. Death, and a welcome into Paradise, seems too good […]
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