Humor
Dinosaur Bones
Some tourists in the London Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the blonde guard, ‘Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?’ The guard replies, ‘They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.’ ‘That’s an awfully exact number,’ says the tourist. ‘How do […]
A List of Stupidities
Have you ever said something stupid? The following quotes will help you recognize you are not alone. I’m not sure why they were sent to me!! ‘Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but […]
What Are Little Boys And Old Ladies Made Of?
What Are Little Boys And Old Ladies Made Of?…….. 🙂 Oh what are little boys made of made of What are little boys made of made of Pigeons and nails and puppy dog tails That’s what little boys are made of Oh what are little girls made of made of What are little girls made […]
Music quotes
The best one-line music review ever written comes from Mark Twain: “Wagner’s music is not as bad as it sounds.” Second best: Queen Victoria’s reaction (reputedly) after attending a performance of Gilbert and Sullivan’s HMS Pinafore: “We are not amused.”
Catholic Dogs
A Catholic priest found a small boy with a sign advertising “Catholic pups for sale” outside church one Sunday after Mass, and wished his enterprise well. The next Sunday he saw the same boy setting up for sales outside the Baptist church. Curiosity prompted him to stop, and it was rewarded as he got out […]
Baptist Dog
A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the […]
Weird Facts
‘Stewardesses’ is the longest word typed with only the left hand And ‘lollipop’ is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn’t you?) No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. ‘Dreamt’ is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’. […]
20 Weird Facts You Never Knew
1.Butterflies taste with their feet. 2.A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. 3.In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world’s nuclear weapons combined. 4.On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year. 5.On average people fear spiders more than they do death. 6.Elephants are the […]
A Man Named Ralph
There’s a man named Ralph that goes into a bar, looking very depressed. A friend approaches him and asks, “Why the long face, Ralph?” “Oh, I’m just bored. I know every person in the entire world now, and there’s just nothing left to challenge me.” His friend says, “No, you can’t know everyone. Do you […]
Bridal Gifts
Mario, age 92, and Lina, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a Chemist. Mario suggests they go in. Mario addresses the man behind the counter: ‘Are you the owner?’ The pharmacist answers ‘Yes’. Mario: ‘We’re about […]
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