Humor
It’s not sport without sportsmanship
(Just occasionally a sports journalist writes something quite brilliant!) Greg Baum May 10, 2008 IT WAS, if you like, John Landy and Ron Clarke all over again. Two weekends ago, in a college softball play-off at a 300-seat stadium in a small US town called Ellensburg, pint-sized Sarah Tucholsky of Western Oregon University swung lustily […]
Julie Andrews – getting older
To commemorate her 69th birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was ‘My Favorite Things’ from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music’. Here are the lyrics she used: (Sing It!)-Maalox and nose drops and […]
The lion and the biker
A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to devour her, before the eyes of her screaming parents. Reacting swiftly, the biker jumps off his bike, runs to […]
Drinking with Jesus
An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. It was a man. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried […]
Odd Names
‘For my v/first job I had to be interviewed by a Mrs Sheila Blige……… (giggle) & at school a girl in my class was Eileen Standing…’ *** ‘My first teacher was called Ingrid Bashem. Startled a lot of new parents to see I.Bashem on the classroom door’
Important Question about Whiskers
Does grandfather sleep with his whiskers, under or over the sheet….? ~~~~~~~~~ According to Kris Kringle in “Miracle on 34th St” (the 40s movie, not the remake), he leaves his whiskers out, “cold air makes them GROW!”.
Homeless Woman
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of pounds for some food. I got out my purse and took a ten pound note out and asked, ‘If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it […]
Touche
During the 1976 USA bicentenary celebrations, the Procrastinators Club of America sent a letter of complaint to the Whitechapel Bell Foundry in London. In 1752 this company had cast the original Liberty Bell, which was defective from the beginning and developed its famous crack almost ninety years later. Their tongue in cheek complaint included queries […]
Religion: did you know?
Camel is considered unclean meat in the Bible. In 1631, two London bible printers accidentally left the word “not” out of the seventh commandment, which then read, “Thou shalt commit adultery.” This book is now referred to as the “Wicked Bible.” Over eleven thousand people have visited a tortilla chip in New Mexico that appeared […]
Genealogy
A little girl asked her father, ‘How did the human race appear?’ The father answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.’ Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered, ‘Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race […]
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