Humor
Blind Man and Blondes
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender….. ‘Hey, You wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman […]
Men (composed by women)
How many intelligent, honest, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don`t stop and ask for directions. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer. […]
One for the golfers to think about
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try to show some understanding. My name is Wayne, and let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Beverly. […]
Watching a Film
I was thinking of watching a film later. But, which one? I was going to watch Pinnochio but I thought the acting was a little wooden. I was going to watch the Invisible Man but I felt the main character was rather see through. I was going to watch Titanic but there is a big […]
Adam and Eve
Adam was out for a walk with his two sons, and they came to a very ornate set of locked gates set into a very high wall running into the distance as far as the eye could see. Looking through the gates, Cain saw a beatiful garden and shouted to his father excitedly. “Ah, don’t […]
The Irish (again)
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’ The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. ‘Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,’ says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies […]
True Family Fortunes answers from the UK
The following are ACTUAL answers given by contestants on “Family Fortunes” in the UK. If you’ve ever doubted that the families who appear on this show are of sub-human intelligence, doubt no longer – Les Dennis is their King… Q. Name something you take to the beach A. Turkey sandwiches Q. Name something a blind […]
More real Family Fortune responses
(from http://www.businessballs.com – 11 May 2006) User rating of 3 out of 5User rating of 3 out of 5User rating of 3 out of 5 Real answers from the popular television show Q. Name an instrument you can play while walking in the street A. A cello.. Q. Name a type of oil A. Sewing-machine […]
Lost parrot tells veterinarian his address
African grey parrot – missing two weeks – is returned to owners TOKYO – When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught – recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help. Police rescued the African grey parrot two weeks ago […]
Important laws of life
The law of avoiding oversell – When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. The law of common sense – Never accept a drink from a urologist. The law of self sacrifice – When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. Boob’s law – You always find something in […]
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