Humor
Lawyers
Q. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A. A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the Judge.
The Knighting
Recently, Rabbi Jacobawitz, the chief rabbi of England, was knighted by the Queen. As part of the knighting ceremony, Rabbi Jacobawitz had to kneel before the Queen, and as we all know Jews do not bow before anyone except Hashem. On top of that, he was told to recite a paragraph from the Christian liturgy […]
Moses and Palestinians
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently at the U.N. and made the world community smile. A representative from Israel began- ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath!’ […]
Coincidence
Two men were sitting next to each other at Murphy’s Pub in London. After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland ‘ The other bloke responds proudly, ‘Yes, that I am!’ The first one says, ‘So am I! And where […]
Lipstick in School
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving […]
Warning: another blonde joke
Janice tells her Dr that she’s a bit out of sorts in the mornings, Dr runs his stethoscope over her, asks a few questions and takes a sample. ‘Janice,’ he says, ‘you’re pregnant!’ ‘Oh Doc’, she replies ‘thats really the last thing I want……. are you sure it’s mine?’
Wedding
This is a true story. (From a Usenet newsgroup): A friend of mine of German origin was invited to a good friends wedding, his friend was Jewish. Bernd was at the reception and the room being full of Jews was a little “tense” at a German in their midst. Eventually of course the conversation turned […]
Woman and God
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked ‘Is my time up?’ God said, ‘No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live. Upon recovery, the woman decided to […]
Men – happier people?
Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah… If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will […]
Amputation
A man with an ulcerated leg was admitted to hospital. The surgeon advised amputation. Afterwards, the surgeon said he’d good, and bad, news. “Let’s get the bad news over.” said the patient. “I’m sorry, but we removed the wrong leg.” “Oh dear! What’s the good news?” “The other leg got better.”
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