Humor
Speeding Motorist
As a highway patrol car chased down a speeding motorist, the officer was amazed to see a demure little old lady at the wheel. When he asked to see her licence, she shook her head. “I’ve never had one!” she said. “What about your car registration papers?” he asked. “I wouldn’t know about them. ” […]
Supermarket Surround Sound
A new supermarket franchise is opening a whole new experience in shopping… Their produce departments have automatic water misting systems to keep everything fresh. Each time it goes on, you’ll hear the sound of thunder and you can actually detect the fragrance of fresh rain. When you approach their dairy sections, you hear cows mooing […]
History’s Worst Decisions and Greatest Scandals
History’s Worst Decisions (Stephen Weir, 2005), History’s Greatest Scandals (Ed Wright et. al, 2006), (Murdoch Books/Pier 9). If you want to occupy part of your holidays – as I have just done – reading about history’s idiots/ idiotics, you can’t go past these two 250-page volumes. But first, a quiz to test your knowledge of […]
Max
Paul nervously knocked on his blind date’s 17th floor flats door. She turned out to be as beautiful and charming as his friends had said. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” she said. “Why don’t you play with Max while you’re waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He can roll over, shake hands, sit up […]
Chinese Proverbs
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Man who run in front of car get tired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Man with one chopstick go hungry. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Man who fight with wife […]
Bouncing Prayers
Report: 32% Of Prayers Deflected Off Passing Satellites March 19, 2008 | Issue 44•12 Report: 32% Of Prayers Deflected Off Passing Satellites HOUSTON—According to an official NASA report released Saturday, nearly 32 percent of all prayers exiting Earth are deflected off satellites orbiting the planet—ultimately preventing the discharged requests for divine intervention from ever making […]
Vampire Bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night; face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood & began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to shoot through & let him […]
Women and Men Drivers
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers; the […]
Peter’s Mother
Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal; his mother couldn’t help but notice how lovely Peter’s flat mate, Joanne, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she […]
Dear Minister (Passport Application)
Dear Minister, I’m in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through. How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them […]
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