Humor
Parking the Car
One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Idaho were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through.” So the good […]
Misinterpreting the Lord’s Prayer
When my twin daughters were young, I taught them to say this prayer before going to bed. As I listened outside their door, I could hear them say, “Give us this steak and daily bread, and forgive us our mattresses.” My husband and I always had a good laugh over this. That was over 50 […]
You Know You Are Living In 2007 When…
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch […]
Santa’s Reindeers
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical […]
Good Housekeeping Tip
Another Maxine Tip… Always keep several get well cards on the mantlepiece, So if unexpected guests arrive, They will think you’ve been sick and unable to clean
Christmas presents
An eight-year-old boy asked his seven-year-old friend, “Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?” “No,” she replied, “But that’s all right. It wasn’t my birthday.” At the primary school nativity play, three boys played the part of the three wise men. “We are three kings from the east. I bring him Gold” said the […]
Fussy Jesus Ad Outrages Church Groups
Wednesday Dec 19 06:00 AEDT By ninemsn staff Christian leaders have slammed an advertisement showing baby Jesus throwing gifts back at the three wise men, branding it tacky and offensive. The Betta Electrical commercial recreates the nativity scene, where Jesus lies in his manger as the three wise men offer their gifts. The television commercial […]
Santa and Science
This has been doing the rounds for a while, but some here might not have seen it… “Santa and Science” 1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out […]
Airport Traffic Tower
Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7” Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure… by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.” Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7… did you copy the report from […]
Christmas Carols for the Disturbed
* 1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear ? * 2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are * 3. Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas * 4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me * 5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House […]
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