Humor
Kids’ Bible History
In case you’re a little foggy on your biblical history, let our junior church students help you with this complete overview of the Bible, compiled from their essays: In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one,’ but […]
Performance Reviews
THESE ARE ACTUAL QUOTES TAKEN FROM FEDERAL GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS 1) “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.” 2) “I would not allow this employee to breed.” 3) “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.” 4) “Works […]
Well known proverbs
A 1st grade school teacher presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic! 1. Don’t change horses until they stop running. […]
Original Sin
The preacher began with: “I had intended to speak about original sin this morning, but on reflecting about my own sins I was unable to come up with any that was particularly original!”
Signs of Faith
The signs outside churches advertising God are as close as most get to hearing a sermon. READ ON MORE Church sign generator. READ ON When church signs suck. READ ON The cultural history of church signs. READ ON And visit http://funnyjokesnpics.blogspot.com/search/label/CHURCH%20SIGNS for some beauties!
Anti-religious humor
Ridiculous Religions Quotes: “One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh.” [Robert A Heinlein] “Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.” [Ambrose Bierce] “All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.” [Stendahl] “Religion is the art of occupying limited minds with […]
Politics, heaven and hell
While walking down the street one day a senator is hit and killed by a truck . St. Peter welcomes him at the entrance to heaven: “Before you settle in, there seem to be a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, so we’re not sure what to do with you.” “No […]
Euro English
The European Commission has just announced that English will be the official language of the European Union. German, which was the other possibility, narrowly missed out. During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”. In the […]
Idiocy
(1) Why am I a brainless fool? I haven’t a clue. (2) Why are you a brainless fool? You tell me. (3) In the Land of the Loons is Half-Wit king? No, the Complete Idiot is. (4) Did they lock you up ‘cos you spoke to God? No, because He replied. (5) Why do you […]
Hear about…???
Did you hear about the … Paper company that folded? Brake company on the skids? Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary? Cigarette company that went up in smoke? Baker who was short of dough? Refrigerator manufacturer that had it’s assets frozen? Upholsterers that couldn’t cover their costs? Adhesive tape company […]
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