Humor
English Hospitality
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter. After a while, he finds himself in a very […]
Driving
=========================== TODAYS RIDDLE : IT IS A 7 LETTER WORD. IF WE REMOVE 1 LETTER FROM IT, IT REMAINS THE SAME. IF WE REMOVE 2 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS THE SAME. IF WE REMOVE 3 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS THE SAME. IF WE REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS FROM IT, STILL IT REMAINS THE […]
A Woman’s Work is Never Done
Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.” She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, […]
Yugo
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks […]
Bible Stories and the Media
If biblical events were being covered by today’s media… **** On Red Sea crossing: WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE Enforcement Officials Killed While Pursuing Unruly Mob On David vs. Goliath: HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION OF RELIEF TROOPS Psychologist Questions Significance of Rock Used as Weapon On the prophet Elijah on Mt. Carmel: FIRE SENDS […]
Confession
Confessions A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. […]
A Few Stupidities
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sheer nightie. ‘Tie me up,’ she purred, ‘and you can do anything you want.’ So he tied her up and went golfing. ***************************************** A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She […]
One for you, one for me…
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” […]
Comeback
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman’s credibility…. Q: “Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?” A: “No sir. But I […]
Irish Medical Dictionary
Artery……………………. The study of paintings. Bacteria………………….. Back door to cafeteria. Barium…………………….What doctors do when patients die. Benign…………………….What you be, after you be eight. Caesarean Section………A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan…………………..Searching for Kitty. Cauterize………………….Made eye contact with her. Colic………………………..A sheep dog. Coma……………………….A punctuation mark. Dilate……………………..To live long. Enema……………………..Not a friend. Fester…………………….Quicker than someone else. Fibula……………………..A small lie. […]
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