Humor
Murphy’s Lesser-known Rules
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t. 4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a […]
Inebriated Irishmen
An inebriated Irishman who enters a bar and spots another inebriated Irishman and gets talking. They’re surprised to find they were born in the same town, lived in the same street, went to the same school, etc, and appear to get on famously. One barman sighs and says to the other “We’re in for a […]
Don’t Mess with Seniors!
THE SENIOR’S BREAKFAST SPECIAL: We went to breakfast at a restuarant where the Senior’s Special was: Two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. “Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.” “Then I’ll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re not ordering the special – you’re […]
Dealing with Politicians
Dear Rowland, (From a friend who was a broadcaster on ABC radio): When dealing with politicians who are big into “mateship” and close ranks as soon as they are challenged, there is only one technique that works. Divide and Conquer. Some years back a journalist had a flash of mischievous inspiration and anonymously sent the […]
Blonde and the Chimps
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?” “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?” “Not for me. I’ll be spending the […]
Prof talk
Two old professors sitting on hotel balcony. One says to the other ‘Have you read Marx?’ The other replies ‘Yes, I think its the wicker chairs.’
Tony Blair wisdom
Tony Blair wisdom: “Profound problems require profound remedies” “There will often be as much interpretation of what a politician is saying, as there is coverage of them actually saying it,” “Mine is the first generation able to contemplate the possibility that we may live our entire lives without going to war or sending our children […]
Redhead
THE REDHEAD A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. […]
Apple Pie
(First, read ‘The Baptist White Lie Cake’ story on this website)… ***** Our next door neighbor was hosting a tea. She had been asked to host, and she had offered to provide dessert. For the occasion, she baked one of her specialties, home made apple pie. Unfortunately for Ruth (the neighbor), she had several unruly […]
Mortuary Blonde
“ A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. The widow feels that her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants. I don’t care what it costs, but […]
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