Humor
More one-liners
“A Compendium Of Puntifications” 1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. 4. The roundest knight at King […]
Scottish Dentist
A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction. “ £85 for an extraction, sir” the dentist replied. “ £85!!! Huv ye no’got anythin’ cheaper?” “That’s the normal charge,” said the dentist. “Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?” “That’s unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off. […]
Unattractive Mother
A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Tesco with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter says, “Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice children you’ve got there. Are they twins?” The unsightly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: “Of course they […]
An Irish Ghost Story
This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s true. John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the Road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. […]
Quiz Answers (All True)
QUIZMANIA (ITV) Greg Scott: We’re looking for an occupation beginning with ‘T’. Contestant: Doctor. Scott: No, it’s ‘T’. ‘T’ for Tommy. ‘T’ for Tango. Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) … . . Doctor. DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM) Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year? Contestant: I don’t […]
Golf
Especially for the recipient golfers !!! A rather upset gentleman is in a competitive golf match with a friend who is ahead by a couple of strokes. “Boy! I’d give anything to sink this putt,” the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, “Would you be willing to […]
Clocks in Heaven
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie- Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.” […]
Grammar
What is a sentence that is grammatically correct that uses the following words? and and and and and ******* The firm of Hand and Anderson had a signwriter make a new sign, and they were unhappy with the result. It looked like this: H and and And erson. They complained that there was “too much […]
Letter to the Commissioner of Taxation re GST
http://www.nutech2000.com/webtext/upaussie/letcomtax.html Stand up you Aussie THIS LETTER SHOULD BE SENT TO THE COMMISSIONER Of TAXATION BY EVERY AUSTRALIAN. LETTER TO AUSTRALIAN TAX OFFICE ON GST. Remove this line and everything above it, then address and date the letter. Print out, sign and send. **** Michael Carmody “Commissioner of Taxation” “Australian Taxation Office” GPO Box 900 […]
Pavarotti
Pavarotti knocks on the pearly gates. St Peter opens them and says ‘oh it’s you Luciano, come on in. squeeze through’. Pavarotti says ‘hold on, I’ve got an envelope for you, from the pope.’ St Peter opens it up and reads it. ‘HERE’S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU’
Categories
Articles may be reproduced in any medium, without applying for permission
(provided they are unedited, and retain the original author/copyright information - and a reference to this website :-)!
26,756 articles online.
Protected by Akismet, Digital Ninjas and an Ion Cannon. Really.
Blog with WordPress