Humor
Makes no difference
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, “I’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.” […]
Having a Bad Day?
In a hospitals intensive care unit, patients always died in the same bed at about 11:00 a.m., on Sunday morning. regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 […]
The World
25. It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses. 24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament. 23. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down. 22. In France, it is forbidden to call […]
Marriage (and fishing)
(1) They say the ideal marriage is that between a deaf husband and a dumb wife (Which does seem like overkill) (2) A man was sitting on a river bank fishing when a loony popped his head over the high wall of the asylum just behind him – Loony: “What are you doing?” Man: “I’m […]
Deep Thoughts By Men While Fishing
Two men are out fishing at their favourite fishing spot, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, “I think I’m going to divorce my wife. She hasn’t spoken to me in over 2 months.” Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, “You better […]
Accident
Two men walk into a bar… You’d think the second man would have seen it.
Woman Speak
Ten statements women use… 1 “Fine”. This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2 “Five Minutes”. If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes […]
Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns
Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back […]
Two Beggars
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops […]
Indian
Q: What do you call an Indian standing on one leg? A: Balan Singh
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