Humor
Elephant Story
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from university. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot […]
Heart Attack
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! ‘Help me dear,’ she groans to her husband. The husband dials 000 on his mobile, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and […]
Medical News
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, “Hello”. “Mrs. Ward, please.” “Speaking.” “Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband’s samples to the lab yesterday, samples from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband’s. […]
An Atheist and a Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw […]
One Liners
One Liners : What’s the definition of irreconcilable differences? When she’s melting down her wedding ring to cast it into a bullet. Q. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? A. I don’t know and I don’t care. KISSING: Putting your honey where your mouth is. Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall […]
What Can We Eat?
Can’t eat Beef Mad cow Can’t eat chicken . bird flu Can’t eat eggs .. Salmonella Can’t eat pork .. fears of trichinosis… Can’t eat fish .. heavy metals in the waters has poisoned their meat Can’t eat fruits and veggies … insecticides and herbicides Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! M M M M M M M M M […]
The Computer Swallowed Grandma
The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly its true. She pressed ‘control’ and ‘enter’ And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I’ve searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I’ve even used the Internet, […]
Somebody said
SOMEBODY SAID… Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby ……… Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, “Normal,” is history… Somebody said being a mother is boring …… Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit… Somebody said […]
Baptist joke
From a friend: One of the funnier Baptist jokes (Baptists tell this one) I ever heard was that as a result of high-level talks many years ago, the Roman Catholics had finally decided to eat meat on Fridays, the Jews came back with their own “high-level” conference and decided that they would finally accept Jesus […]
Holiday Complaints
According to Thomas Cook in the UK, some holidaymakers are just never satisfied. Here are the top ten most bizarre and genuine customer complaints received by the firm in recent years: 1 On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food […]
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