Humor
Limerix
There was a young lady of Niger, Who went for a ride on a tiger. At end of the ride, Lady was inside, And a smile on face of the tiger. And here are some feeble efforts by an anon. poster: There was a sportswoman of Nile, Went croc hunting, with rifle and guile. But […]
More on movies with a Christian theme
Further to http://jmm.org.au/articles/19874.htm This poll on http://www.ship-of-fools.com. asks Which born again movie would you most like to munch your popcorn to? Here are the results… Breakfast Epiphanies 95 (18%) Full Metal Cassock 84 (16%) 101 Damnations 42 (8%) When Harry Met Jesus 41 (7%) Sinning in the Rain 40 (7%) Honey, I Blew Up the […]
One-liners
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, “I’ve never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why […]
Quotes
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.” Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. Mark Twain […]
Southern Baptists
Q: Why don’t Southern Baptist teenagers have sex standing up? A: Because it might lead to dancing! Q: Why should you always take two Southern Baptist ministers when you go fishing? A: Because if you only take one he’ll drink all your beer!
Three Holy Men and a Bear
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains at Northern Michigan University. They regularly got together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, one of them commented that preaching to people isn’t all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a […]
Mother-in-law
After a long trip, a woman walks into her daughter’s house where she is greeted by her son-in-law David. “So,” he begins, “how long do you want to stay for this visit?” “However long you want me,” she responds. “What!” he exclaims, “You don’t even want to stay for a coffee?”
Entrance Exam
A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An angel (or deva) stops them and asks, “Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?” The Christian replies, “My ancestors disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I […]
Universal Laws
Universal Laws… Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your […]
Dwarf
I rear-ended a car a few days ago……. I tell you, It was a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a friggin’ DWARF!! He looked up at me and said “I am NOT happy!” So I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
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