Humor
Rearranged words
This is very clever! Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION:When you rearrange the letters: […]
I’m not old, just mature
I’m Not Old. Just Mature Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent. From my purchase this chap took off ten percent. I asked for the cause of a lesser amount; And he answered, Because of the Seniors Discount. I went to McDonald’s for a burger and fries; And there, once again, got quite […]
Are you kathlick?
Three little Boys were concerned because they couldn’t get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been Baptized and didn’t go to Sunday School. So they went to the nearest Church. But, only the Janitor was there. One little Boy said, “We need to be baptized because no one […]
Don’t whiz on the electric fence
From Mark – “Don’t whiz on the electric fence” – Ren & Stimpy ########################################################## When nature’s callin’ Don’t be stallin’ Use your common sense Before you let it flow Find a place to go Just don’t whiz on the electric fence If you’re gonna explode You can use the commode Of igloos, cave dwellings or […]
More re light bulbs
How many Irish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. “Tis all right son, I’ll just sit here in the dark by myself” ~~~ How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 to change the light bulb 1 to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to […]
Memory
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques – visualization, association – it made a huge difference for me.” “That’s great! What was the name of […]
Signs That You Are Too Drunk
Signs That You Are Too Drunk You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive […]
No comment
‘ Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, “We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It’s possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.” ‘ (The Daily […]
Old Electricity Poster
Seen the other day in a junk shop – I asked the proprietor, but it seems that in 100 years nobody but me had seen the joke: “Don’t kill your wife with hard work- use electricity instead!” ~~~ I have seen that slogan, or ones very like it, quoted as humour over the last forty […]
Family history
Five mornings a week, my husband goes to the health club, gets on the stair-stepper, sets the timer, and buries his nose in a book. Recently,he noticed an amazingly fit middle-aged woman who seemed to run circles around everyone, took few breaks, and rarely even broke a sweat. “It’s not fair,” he complained. “By the […]
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