Humor
Mobile Phones
Two professional marathon runners – bitter rivals – were having lunch together, when one suddenly put his thumb in his ear and started speaking into his little finger. When he stopped he said to his rival: “If you’re wondering why I did that, it’s because I need to be in touch with my agent and […]
Lebanon
This joke is doing the rounds in Lebanon: A Christian whose house was destroyed by the Israeli onslaught lost all his possessions. All that remained was a picture of the Christ. He took it with him and went to see Saad Hariri, who gave him 100 thousand dollars to rebuild. Seeing this, his Shia neighbour […]
How To Clean The House
1. Open a new file in your PC . 2. Name it “Housework.” 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN. 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN. 5. Your PC will ask you, “Are you sure you want To delete Housework permanently?” 6. Calmly answer, “Yes,” and press mouse button firmly…… 7. Feel better? Works for me!
Buying Shoes
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” . “Well put,” the […]
Chuckle Time
Some boom boom jokes to brighten your day!! 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, […]
A Brilliant Senior Moment
A BRILLIANT SENIOR MOMENT !! A 98 year old woman wrote this to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my […]
An Older Couple
An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, “Don’t touch me.” “Why not?” he asks. She answers back, “Because I’m dead.” The husband says, “What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together and talking to […]
When Irish Eyes Are…
The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the […]
Reasons Not To Mess With Children
Reasons not to mess with children. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. […]
Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture
by Chris Peterson (aka Elroy Willis) Saturday, August 25, 2001 5:05 PM ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) — A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car’s sunroof during an incident best described as a “mistaken rapture” by dozens of eye-witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted from people […]
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