Humor
Funeral
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up […]
Blondes and Police
A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his future. He gets into a taxi and the driver says, “How are you on this lovely day?” “I’m the Class of 2001, just graduated from Harvard and I just can’t wait to go out there and see what the […]
Children’s Science Exam
If you need a laugh, then read through these Children’s Science Exam Answers: Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead […]
Con-artists
Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance […]
Wife’s Burial
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150.” The man thought about it and told him he would just […]
A Close Call
Fred bought a brand new Holden Monaro. He took off down the road, pushed it up to 150 kph, and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair. “This is great,” he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. Then, he looked in his rear view mirror, and there was a police car. […]
Answers given by 2nd grade school children
*Why did God make mothers?* 1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. *How did God make mothers?* 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super […]
The Computer Swallowed Grandma
COMPUTERS. The computer swallowed Grandma; yes honestly it’s true ! She pressed “Control” and “Enter” then disappeared from view. It devoured her completely; the thought just makes me squirm, She must have caught a virus, or been eaten by a worm. Grandpa searched through recycle bin and files of every kind, The reply was negative, […]
Noah’s head for business let him down
Noah’s head for business let him down. After Noah had let all the animals off the ark, he realised that though he had great business sense (having floated a loan while the rest of the world was in liquidation) he had not properly planned for his retirement. He was feeling more than a little bored […]
Proof cycling is bad for the health — and career
Squirrel in spokes floors cycling opera singer HELSINKI (Reuters) – A squirrel scampered into the bicycle wheel of an unlucky Finnish opera singer, causing him to fall, knock himself out and break his nose just ahead of the world premiere of a new opera. Esa Ruuttunen was pedalling his way to the Helsinki Opera House […]
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