Humor
Bible Quiz
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation. Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh’s daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of man was […]
Signs
A sign writer in my home town had a simple slogan: “I made signs before I could talk!” In the Bordertown bakery back in June, Judy and I saw a notice at the pie counter that required some chewing over: “If you like beef, we have beef pies If you like chicken, we have chicken […]
Asking Questions
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. […]
Greeting
Have a great day, unless you’ve made other plans… (Know any others?)
Hurry
Reminds me of the impatient chef who glared at his micro-wave oven and yelled: “Come on, I haven’t got all minute!”
Episcopalians
Bishop DeWolfe of Long Island was reported to have been asked if one could be saved outside the Episcopal Church. His response, was of course, yes, but no gentleman or lady would do it.
Black eye
One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 […]
Liberals and light bulbs
First Speaker: “What about this one? How many ‘progressive’ liberals does it take to change a lightbulb? Second Speaker: “What do you mean ‘How many?’ That’s the wrong question. We’re not here to change the lightbulbs, but to affirm their lightedness. “There are many different ways they express their inner light, and if one of […]
Wives
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came […]
6 easy steps to remove housework from you life for ever
HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE 1. Open a new file in your PC. 2. Name it “Housework.” 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN. 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN. 5. Your PC will ask you, “Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?” 6. Calmly answer, “Yes,” and press the mouse button firmly…… 7. […]
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