Humor
Old Catskill Jokes
Remember the old Catskill Mountains comics of Vaudeville days like Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, and others?…. corny, clean jokes, but still funny… * I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me! * Someone stole all my credit […]
Getting Old
GETTING OLD IS NOT FOR SISSIES I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising… I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by […]
Creation
In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables. He did this so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then, using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Whip and Peter’s Ice Cream. And Satan said: “You want hot […]
Sign required
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, “I’m Stupid.” That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you? You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like, excuse me… oops, never mind. Didn’t see your sign.” It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there […]
Phone conversation
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello” WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes” WOMAN: “I am at […]
Rotten Day
. TODAYS RIDDLE Which word from Group B belongs in Group A? Group A: Cling Drive Fort State Group B: Motion Peach Grass Walk /\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/ , Motion , If you pronounce […]
Steven Wright quotes
If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he’s the guy who once said: “I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.” His mind sees things differently than we do – to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his gems:- […]
Creative Science Students
Creative Science Students. . [no reference to theories of evolution . Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and […]
Weather joke
IT WAS April and the Aboriginals on a remote reserve asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an elder in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn’t’t tell what the winter was […]
TENJEWBERRYMUDS
TENJEWBERRYMUDS To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what ‘Tenjewberrymuds’ means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published […]
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