Humor
Disorder in American Courts
Oldies but goodies! ~~ These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? […]
Witnessing a car accident
This is a phone call from a man in Texas who witnessed a car accident involved 4 elderly women. It was so popular when they played it on CHUM FM that they had to put it on their site. Enjoy! Speakers on!!!!!!!. http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf
Intelligent design
;=0 Intelligent design from the September 26, 2005 New Yorker magazine: INTELLIGENT DESIGN by PAUL RUDNICK Day No. 1: And the Lord God said, “Let there be light,” and lo, there was light. But then the Lord God said, “Wait, what if I make it a sort of rosy, sunset-at-the-beach, filtered half-light, so that everything […]
Pickin’ one’s sins
Pickin’ one’s sins. Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew at church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, thesetwo ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, “AMEN, BROTHER!” When thepreacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “PREACH IT, REVEREND!” […]
Rapture Safety cards prepare parishioners, airline-style
[Warning: satire] PINE BLUFF, Ark. — Last Days Bible Church has taken a novel step to prepare people for the Rapture: under each seat in the sanctuary is an airline-style safety card giving instructions for what to do when the Rapture takes place. “It’s a way of getting people’s attention,” says pastor Mark Eckers, who […]
Dogs
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and […]
The Woman in the Restaurant
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous woman sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but he lacks the nerve to start a conversation. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of it’s socket towards the man. He […]
Divorce
A woman decided she wanted a divorce and consulted a solicitor. “Have you any grounds?” he asked. “Yes, about four acres.” “Do you have a grudge?” “No, but we’ve got a lovely carport.” “Does he beat you up?” “No, I’m first up every morning.” “Then why do you want a divorce?” “Because he cannot carry […]
Leave applications
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India… 1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: “Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.” 2. This is from Oracle Bangalore. From […]
Word Power
WORD POWER: . Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. · A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. · Dijon vu – the same mustard as before. · Practice safe eating – always use condiments. · Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. · A hangover […]
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