Humor
Today’s riddle for Seniors
*****You are on a Horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off.And on your left side is an Elephant traveling at the same speed as you.Directly in front of you is a galloping Kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.Behind you is a Lion running at […]
Politically Correct Christmas Greeting
Hi, I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on their advice I wish to say the following : Please accept with no obligation, implied […]
Thought for the New Year
Dear God, My prayer for 2012 is for a fat bank account & a thin body. Please don’t mix these up like you did last year. AMEN!
Humo[u]r
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying […]
Humo[u]r (Be sure your sins will find you out…)
While attending a Marriage seminar dealing with communication, Jack and his wife, Barb, listened to the instructor. ¢â‚¬Å“It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. ¢â‚¬ He addressed the man, ¢â‚¬Å“can you describe your wife ¢â‚¬â„¢s favorite flower? ¢â‚¬ Jack leaned over, touched his wife ¢â‚¬â„¢s arm gently and whispered, ¢â‚¬Å“Its […]
Kitschmas
Where’s Gruen when you need them? Candidates for “the worst nativity set of all time”: http://whyismarko.com/2011/27-worst-nativity-sets-the-annual-growing-list/ And a new take on the Nativity – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW1pbuyGlQ0
Walking on Water
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when […]
Corny Humo[u]r to cheer your day!
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” […]
Big Fat Greek Gravy Train
Unattributed but interesting if true! But see: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007949/The-Big-Fat-Greek-Gravy-Train-A-special-investigation-EU-funded-culture-greed-tax-evasion-scandalous-waste.html Subject: Big Fat Greek Gravy Train – An interesting article Even on a stiflingly hot summer’s day, the Athens underground is a pleasure. It is air-conditioned, with plasma screens to entertain passengers relaxing in cool, cavernous departure halls – and the trains even run on time. […]
WHERE I HAVE AND HAVE NOT BEEN :-)
I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be […]
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