Humor
A Religious experience
There was a lady sitting on a bench when an old man came over to sit down. He moved over to her side and said “Do you believe in the hereafter?” She said “Yes” Then he replied, “Then you know what I’m hereafter.”
New Zealand
Graffiti on a wall in Sydney: “New Zealand Sux!” Underneath, obviously written by a New Zealander: “Australia Nil!”
To Live! It is better then the alternative
The Importance of Walking —–Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she’s 97 years old and we don’t know where she […]
Warning!!!!
Alert! There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with […]
Extrovert Engineers
How do you tell an extrovert engineer? Stares at your shoes instead of his own … ~~~ “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” – Robert Benchley
Puns
Attending: One incident of ten bells ringing Deride: To get off a horse. Pepsodent: Dirt that gives you energy and cleans your teeth. Pretending: Before ten bells ring. Tarmac: Fast food on the road. Timex: Mexican neck wear.
Understanding Engineers
Understanding Engineers – Take one To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers – Take Two A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow […]
I want to go back to a time when
I want to go back to a time when: a.. Decisions were made by going “eeny-meeny-miney-mo.” b.. Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “do over!” c.. “Race issue” meant arguing about who ran the fastest. d.. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in “Monopoly.” e.. Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an […]
Unlocking your car remotely (more)
http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/phonelocks.html
Riddles and more
. TODAYS RIDDLE . What needs an answer, but doesn’t ask a question? /\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/ A telephone. . ============================= . A flight attendant on a United Air Lines cross-country flight nervously announced: […]
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