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Humor

This category contains 5241 posts

Disclaimer

‘Let no one who is not eager for truth and peace enter here’ (Plato)

Articles on this site express varying points of view, to encourage mature thinking on serious issues. The assumption is that you will want to study a controversial topic from various angles before you arrive at a conclusion, rather than simply believe what someone told you when you were impressionable! (So some stuff here is ‘hot’. Proceed at your own risk!). See the Statement of Faith for John Mark Ministries' theological stance.

Incarnation

Why wasn’t Jesus Christ born in [name the country you despise] ? Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

The Christianese Dictionary

The Christianese Dictionary From http://www.availablelightonline.com/christianese.html Christianese = A communicable language within the Christian subculture with words and phrazes created, redefined, and / or patened that applies only to the Christian sphere of influence. … Pharisee = A term used to describe those who disagree with you. …. Touch Not The Anointing and do not the […]

Unlocking your car by phone

First this: ~~~ It’s amazing for those of us who never thought of it before now . This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a mobile phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are home, call someone on your mobile. Hold your mobile about a foot […]

Car keys: does this work?

~~~ It’s amazing for those of us who never thought of it before now . This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a mobile phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are home, call someone on your mobile. Hold your mobile about a foot from your […]

The Pastor’s Mother and the Usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely. “The front row please.” she answered. “You really don’t want to do that”, the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.” […]

Did anyone hear…?

Did anyone hear about the Irish haemophiliac who died after trying acupuncture? Or about Mrs Cohen, who hurled herself onto the stage, disrupting a magnificent rendition of Verdi’s “Aida” by the Australian Opera, shouting out: “Is there a doctor in the house?” The orchestra collapsed into its own confusion, while the singers slumped to a […]

Groups of birds

Birds (alternatives in brackets) A colony of auks (flock, raft) A colony of avocets A flock of birds (dissimulation, fleet, flight, parcel, pod, volary, ) A sedge of bitterns (siege) A chain of bobolinks A bellowing of bullfinches A flock of bustards A wake of buzzards A tok of capercaillies A muse of capons A […]

Baptist Cowgirl

Fw: Baptist Cowgirl A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches […]

Here’s a fun place to search online

http://www.pupna.com/

Jesus and ‘rude jokes’

If Jesus regularly ate with the local riff-raff would the riff-raff have told ribald jokes? What Did Jesus Do? Pick one of the following or add your own: 1. Strike them with a thunder bolt 2. Stone them (as he could cast the first stone!) 3. Give them a sermon on the evils of rude […]