Humor
The Light Bulb
The Light Bulb A variation of the dumb blond genre, but kinda cute. ~~~> Two factory workers were talking. “I think I’ll take some time off from work.” said the man. “How do you think you’ll do that?” said the blonde. He proceeded to climb up to the rafters and hung from them upside down. […]
50,000 Kiwis
50,000 Kiwis (New Zealanders) meet in Eden Park for a “Kiwis Are Not Stupid” Convention. Helen Clark says, “We are all here today to prove to the world thet Kiwis are not stupid. Ken I hev a volunteer.” Carlos Spencer gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. Helen asks […]
Bible study (dabster method)
A man was looking into the Bible for some guidance. Not knowing where to look, he simply opened the Bible randomly and pointed his finger at a passage. Wherever his finger lands, he will take as advice. The first was: “Judas went out and hanged himself”. Not knowing what to make out of that, he […]
Why We Love Children
WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. “Dead.” She was informed. “How do you know?” she asked her pupil. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT?!?” the teacher exclaimed […]
Light Bulb Joke – The fundamentalist Version
From a netfriend: Rowland, I saw the joke on your website re how many liberals does it take to change a light bulb and thought about a fundamentalist version: Q. How many fundamentalists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Only one. Everyone should know there’s only one way to change a lightbulb!
Hymn 365
A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” […]
Maturity
YOU KNOW YOU’RE BECOMING ‘MATURE’ WHEN… 1. You and your teeth don’t sleep together. 2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any. 3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal. 4. Your back goes out but you stay home. […]
Driving you insane
THINGS THAT CAN DRIVE A SANE PERSON INSANE: The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper that never works. There are always one or two ice cubes that won’t pop out of the tray. You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic tag in the middle of them. The […]
How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.
Revival meeting
A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings. When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come […]
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