// archives

Humor

RSS feed for this section
This category contains 5241 posts

Disclaimer

‘Let no one who is not eager for truth and peace enter here’ (Plato)

Articles on this site express varying points of view, to encourage mature thinking on serious issues. The assumption is that you will want to study a controversial topic from various angles before you arrive at a conclusion, rather than simply believe what someone told you when you were impressionable! (So some stuff here is ‘hot’. Proceed at your own risk!). See the Statement of Faith for John Mark Ministries' theological stance.

Gift Wrapping For Men

By and others ⋅ February 14, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Gift Wrapping For Men This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men – Gaspar, Balthasar and Herb – went to see the baby Jesus, and, according to the Book of Matthew, “presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” These are simple words, […]

Honesty

By and others ⋅ February 11, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

“I love you very much!” “Why?” “Because you are the only woman who will be seen in public with me.”

From Usenet Sigs

By and others ⋅ February 11, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

W hat atheism: a non-prophet organization… W ould J enna D rink? ——————————- Creation Science: an oxymoron actually created by morons… ——————————- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes. ——————————- “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, […]

Customer Service

By and others ⋅ February 11, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

A letter received by the B&Q customer services department today. Dear Sir/Madam My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive back 72 days later. Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago will […]

Smart!

By and others ⋅ February 11, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket. “How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the men. “Watch and learn,” answers […]

Wacky labels

By and others ⋅ February 11, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Here are the winnners of the M-LAW competition for wackiest warning label of the year: 1st prize Do not use for personal hygiene – on a toilet brush 2nd prize This product moves when used – from a child’s scooter Previous winners have included: * Remove child before folding – on a baby’s buggy * […]

An Email Oops

By and others ⋅ February 10, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

It’s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he […]

More Insults

By and others ⋅ February 9, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental! Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice. Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner. Calling you stupid would be […]

Quotes about insults

By and others ⋅ February 9, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

“What’s the latest dope on Wall Street?” “My son!” – Henny Youngman *** Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time? – Henny Youngman *** If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas. – Henny Youngman *** She has a wash and wear bridal gown. – Henny […]

Flat Earth Theory

By and others ⋅ February 9, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Don’t stop with creationism; teach flat Earth theory, too By Robert N. Bostrom This summer marks the 20th anniversary of the Flat Earth Society’s founding, and I’m sorry to say that the media have largely ignored our organization and its contribution to contemporary thinking and the quality of life. The society was founded to defend […]

« Previous — Next »