Humor
Doctor, I have a problem
‘A man went to the doctor and said “Doctor,doctor I have this problem, I keep passing wind. It is not too bad because you can’t smell anything and it doesn’t make any noise. In fact, you wouldn’t realise it doctor, but in the last five minutes that I have been sitting here in your room […]
Some clean humor
============================= TODAYS RIDDLE: Because cigars cannot be entirely smoked, a hobo who collects cigar butts can make a cigar to smoke out of every 5 butts that he finds. Today, he has collected 25 cigar butts. How many cigars will he be able to smoke? [ answer is at the bottom ] ============================= A lady […]
Government Pipe Specifications
1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole. 2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length – do not use holes of different length than the pipe. 3. The I.D. (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. […]
$50,000 question
Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the host MC that he desired a question on American History. The big night arrived. Bob made his way onstage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of […]
Young Man’s Problem
A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. “Doc, there’s something wrong with me. Every time I stand in a baby’s high chair and face southwest, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum foil that’s wrapped around an acorn, I get a strange tingle in my […]
How Old?
A college professor asked his class a question. “If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?” One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said, “Professor you’re 44..” The […]
Mothers
Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son’s room, a mother finally laid down the law: each item of clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents. By the end of the week, he owed her $1.50. She received the money promptly, along with a 50- cent […]
Umbrella
A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked, “Why did you bring! an umbrella to camp?” The kid answered, “Did you ever have a mother?
Little-seen Family Comes To Church Two Weeks In A Row
CEDAR RAPIDS – A rarely seen family from a local neighborhood attended Hope Assembly two Sundays in a row, sending the pastoral staff and volunteers into a lather of hospitality and enthusiasm. The Duncan family, Mom, Dad and two kids, were spotted as they emerged from their Toyota Tundra. Greeters apprehended them at the front […]
Lord, Hear My Prayer
I’m sure you have all heard (and maybe prayed) the prayer:”Lord, give me patience, and give it to me right now!”The following list of similar prayers has been made up.As usual, the author is unknown. God, help me to begin relaxing about little details tomorrow at 11:41:32 am. Lord, help me to be more laid […]
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