Humor
Murphy’s Law on Computers
– As soon as you delete a worthless file, you’ll need it. – Installing a new program will always mess up at least one old one. – You can’t win them all, but you sure can lose them all. – The likelihood of a hard disk crash is in direct proportion to the value of […]
Ships Passing
A rather old minesweeper was cruising a lonely stretch of the South Pacific and was overtaken by a new Australian cruiser. All the US sailors admired the new ship and the Captain sent a blinker-light message to the Aussies: “You are beautiful.” Less than 10 seconds later, the Aussie ship blinkered back: “I’ll bet you […]
Wanna Be Buddies?
Cute photo at the following URL sorta gives new meaning to “the lion shall lay with the lamb,” doesn’t it? 🙂 http://nature.gardenweb.com/forums/bird/msg0721592028855.jpg
In Need of Professional Help
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked him a few questions, took some notes then […]
The Bible According to Spike Milligan
From Spike Milligan – “The Bible According to Spike Milligan -Old Testament” (Penguin; London 1993. pp 1-2) CHAPTER 1 THE CREATION ACCORDING TO THE TRADE UNIONS In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And darkness was upon the face of the deep; this was due to a malfunction at the Lots Road […]
I Thought He Was Talking to You
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” […]
Now that I’m older
Did I send this to you already? I can’t remember. I don’t remember if I sent this one out……… I don’t think I did…or did you send it to me?? NEW VIRUS Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems there is a virus called the “Senile Virus” that even the most advanced […]
Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott
Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den, and I’m thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one. […]
The Rules from the male side
Here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it […]
How To Sing Well
Joe’s wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. >From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, “What’s the matter, Joe? Don’t you […]
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