Three men found a puddle filled with discarded holy water in a laneway behind St Peter’s in Rome. One was blind, the second was deaf and the third was in a wheelchair. The blind man scooped up some of the water, splashed it in his eyes and yelled out: “I can see! I can see!” […]
Bureaucratic Substitutes for Relevant Change: The Dead Horse Analogy * * * * * * * When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. In business, however, it seems that we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. […]
Christian Cliches from http://www.angelfire.com/pa/greywlf/christiancliches.html 1. “THE WISDOM OF THE WORLD” OFFICIAL DEFINITION: Ideas contrary to God’s revealed truth, conceived by Satan the deceiver and accepted by those who reject God REAL DEFINITION: Any idea that is contrary to the teachings of one’s own church. Especially suspect if arrived at through rational means. (Kevin Hedges) 3. […]
You Are A Bad Cook If… – The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire – Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven. – You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your family and the surprise is that it glows in the […]
http://www.pmichaud.com/toast/
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the […]
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my Financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry I have plenty […]
If the metric system did ever take over, we’d have to change our thinking to the following: * A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometers. * Put your best 0.3 of a meter forward. * Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child. * Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure. […]
*Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service* 10. The Coast Guard is involved. 9. The service is held at Splash Mountain Water Parks. 8. Pastor wears scuba gear. 7. As the baptism begins the organist plays the theme from “Jaws.” 6. The preacher uses a “Billy the Bass” singing “Take Me to […]
Q: What is one horsepower? A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. – You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it you got hit, so never mind. – When they […]