Humor
Car keys
A man and his wife arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, but were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As they watched from the passenger’s side, the guy instinctively […]
Shhhh
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.”You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two […]
Please some of the people, some of the time…
A woman at a craft show was looking at a display of excellent handmade weather vanes. After remarking on the beautiful wrought iron work and the durability of the weather vanes, she turned to the craftsman and asked, “Do they come with any different letters?” (other than N, E, S, W).
Nothing to do
Tell Tale Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work… – You’ve read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 2004 – You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis. – You’ve definitively figured out a way to get Gilligan OFF the island. . . – You decide to see […]
Church bulletin bloopers
Song Lyrics: What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and briefs to bear. Church sign: Jesus Saves! Safeway sign across the street: Safeway saves you more! For the group of ladies called Moms Who Care and pray for the children in school). When their meeting was cancelled one week: There will be […]
Church Bulletin bloopers Continued
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly. We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford” Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer. Newsletters are […]
One Minute Management Course
LESSON ONE An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?” The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, […]
Working Man’s Zen
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. It’s always darkest before dawn. So […]
Winter House
We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation. “If they could live here all those years, so can we!” my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke […]
Trooper Delivery
One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of his car, got in and drove off with the bucket […]
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