Humor
Left overs
A Heavy Calorie Christmas T’was the night after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the […]
Gifts
Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don’t like: 10) Hey! There’s a gift. 9.) Well, well, well… 8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would’ve fit. 7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement. 6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire! 5.) If the dog buries […]
Blonde’s grief
A blonde goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well being, asks her sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.” “I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for […]
Moses
Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff. President Bush went up to the man and said, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man never answered but just kept staring ahead. Again the President said, “Moses! […]
Jewishness
AN-OY VEY…. “Roses are Reddish, Violets are Bluish, If it weren’t for Christmas We’d still be Jewish.” With that thought in mind, I thought I’d share some material that could add to your gratitude for Christmas. There’s the Jewish lament: Moses made a big mistake after crossing the Red Sea. If he had turned right […]
Yet another Night before Christmas
By Kevin Clark ‘Twas the week before holidays and on my PC 200 emails for me to see I got so excited, I fell of my chair Somebody loves me, somebody cares But, I should have remembered what happened before It was the same as last year. Only this time there’s more. I had 200 […]
Real Night before Christmas
(By Parents) :}:} ‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse Instructions were studied and we were inspired, in hopes we could manage “Some Assembly Required.” The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds, while Dad and I faced the evening with […]
Pearly Gates
Guy goes to the gates of heaven where he meets Saint Peter. Saint Peter says to him, “God has looked at your book of life and you are welcome to Heaven under one condition.” The man askes, “What’s that?” St. Peter says “You must spell the word ‘Love’.” So, he does and he is let […]
Diversity Moment
One for the girls!! well the boys may get it! There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was black: 1. He called everyone “Brother.” 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn’t get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into his father’s business. 2. […]
Sweat Her Choice
My mother once gave me two sweaters for Christmas. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, “What’s the matter? You didn’t like the other one?”
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