Humor
An Email From Heaven
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behaviour that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, “Yes, […]
Bush Briefs Children
Laugh To Keep From Crying This week President George W. Bush launched a PR campaign to improve his image and popularity. He visited a primary school to explain his war policy to the children and get some nice pictures. After explaining his policy, the president asks the children if they have any questions. Little Stevie […]
Giving A Pill To A Cat
1. Pick up your cat and cradle it in your left arm as if holding a baby. Place right thumb and forefinger on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat’s mouth opens, pop in the pill and let cat close mouth and swallow. […]
Two Peanuts Etc.
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted. A jumper-lead walks into a bar. The barman says, ” I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, ” Sorry we don’t serve food in here.” Dyslexic man walks into a bra. A man walks into a […]
Old Age
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, “Sir, do you know what we’re doing right now?” The old man […]
Helicopter Won’t Fly
My cousin worked on the Alaska pipeline as a welder. He said helicopters were a big help in covering the rugged ground. I’ve never forgotten a story he told about being in the communications room of one of the base camps when a call came in. A panicked voice called to request another helicopter be […]
Chickens
A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything. Two […]
New Car
*12 Reasons to Buy a New Car* 1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places. 2. Instead of an airbag, there’s a whoopie cushion taped to your steering wheel. 3. You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped. 4. 15-Minute Jiffy Lube lasts for only 3 days. […]
Ain’t It Interesting????
Muslims don’t recognize Jews. Jews don’t recognize Catholics. Catholics don’t recognize Baptists. And, Baptists don’t recognize each other in the liquor store.
Medical Procedure
As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, I print it on an allergy band placed on the patient’s wrist. Once when I asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn’t eat bananas. […]
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