Humor
Robin Williams – Top Ten Reasons For Being An Episcopalian
Friends, The comedian Robin Williams, who is an Episcopalian (isn’t that GREAT!!!), gave these top ten reasons for being an Episcopalian on a recent HBO special: 10. No snake handling. 9. You can believe in dinosaurs. 8. Male and female, God created them; male and female, we ordain them. 7. You don’t have to check […]
Wedding Vows
A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing “wedding.” The wedding vows went like this: “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.”
Inspector Mom
Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived in Iraq? They’re all men! How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam’s stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For crying’ out loud! Men can’t find […]
Politically Correct
*Politically Correct Statements* Your bedroom isn’t cluttered, it’s just “passage restrictive.” Kids don’t get grounded anymore. They merely hit “social speed bumps.” You’re not late, you just have a “rescheduled arrival time.” You’re not having a bad hair day, you’re suffering from “rebellious follicle syndrome.” No one’s tall anymore. He’s “vertically enhanced.” You’re not shy. […]
Fire Drill
Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire hall. Before each student could leave, the fire chief quizzed him. The fire chief asked little Joey, “What do you do if your clothes catch on fire?” Joey replied promptly, “I don’t put them on.”
Losing Weight
“I’m prescribing these pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient who wanted to lose weight without exercising. “I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time….”
Easy To Assemble
A grandfather bought a hobby horse by mail order as a birthday present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour. However it took the man two days to assemble the toy. Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a […]
Operator
Caller: I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I’m sorry, there’s no such listing. Are you sure you have thespelling correct? Caller : Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off. Caller: I’d like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in […]
Smart, Men And Photos
P-r-e-t-t-y S-m-a-r-t….. The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait. The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck toothed and bespectacled. She […]
More Religious Toys
Christmas (Religious) Toys Capitalism: ` He who dies with the most toys, wins. Judaism: He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins. Socialism: Everyone deserves one toy each, at government expense. Liberalism: I like playing with toys, don’t you? That’s why I think I’ll go to heaven. Catholicism: He who denies himself the most […]
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